The Gloomies

 After going to Renegade over July 4th weekend (post still in draft about that) I just had a succession of bad things. 

My truck's transmission died on our way home from Renegade, thankfully after dropping Gwyn off, so we were close to home and while I didn't need a tow in the end, I definitely limped it home and limped it to the dealer a few days later. The chunk of change to stick a new transmission in the vehicle meant that my retention bonus from work could not be used for fun things like a new saddle, but instead, paid for most of the transmission. 

I haven't hauled since. I think I'm scared now. What that means is that I haven't been out on a trail ride. 

I made this at Pony Club Camp as a teen (CT)

Immediately after Renegade, we had a client audit at work, so I was super busy with that and as soon as that wrapped up we were notified that the FDA was exercising a surprise inspection for two weeks (!!!!) so work craziness continued and I barely saw my horse. 

Where I spent most of my teen years in the winter (CT)

Then I learned that Jane passed away and panicked about the cost of plane tickets to fly to Connecticut only to be reassured by the Best Wife that I should shut up and buy them because I obviously needed to go. I proceeded to feel unnecessarily guilty and awful about regret as I grieved, and that definitely impacted me wanting to go to the barn.

And where I spent most of my teen years in the summer (CT)

As soon as the FDA inspection was over we dove into performance qualification of the HVAC system for our new manufacturing spaces. Today was the end of week four, we have more weeks to go. 

The gateway to paradise (CT)

Looking up to the upper pasture and the 'riding ring' I used (CT) 

All of this to say... Gwyn has been neglected in the attention department. I hit the weekend so exhausted that every time I've thought to plan a trail ride, the idea of hooking a trailer up and packing to go anywhere is just exhausting.  Most of my rides lately have been in a hackamore, which was absolutely a dopamine purchase and I HAVE NO REGRETS.

Seriously, so cute.

The lavender with purple overlay is *chef's kiss* perfection

Some times I've gone out just to groom because mentally that's all I have the energy for. 

Even the kids helped

I have been consistently attending physical therapy for an hour, every three weeks or so with a lady who specializes in riders. This is to address knee and ankle pain. As I fix one thing my issues seem to migrate to the next adjacent body part (helloooo hips).  However, I've been fairly diligent about my at home exercises and I have noticed improvement in riding and generally in how I'm moving. This has also now led to me adding in pelvic floor therapy because let me tell you, it's NOT fun to have to worry about peeing any time you sneeze or... you know... half halt or try to relax and ride into a canter that's absolutely giant. Until that first appointment, I've been adding in hourly kegels throughout the day. 

What was fantastic tonight, however, was coming into my riding lesson with Ralph.  I told him upfront that I was hoping to have a lesson where I could walk away feeling like I had a win. That work had been shitty and stressful, and I needed tonight to forget all that shit.

So we worked on Gwyn's weak side canter departs. 😂😂😂😂

But you know what? She was the Best Mare Ever. 

Unenthused

She was lazy at first, offering the most western of jogs until Ralph told me to wake her up with some canter. I disagreed, and pointed her at one of the numerous cross rails scattered across the arena. That did the trick, hahaha. 

She's still anticipating pain on that left stifle and hock so achieving that left lead canter has been hard for me. What it took was counter flexing to the outside, really booting her butt to the inside and just pony club kicking. By the end of the night I was able to soften that cue, and the goal is to not have to so obviously flex to the outside eventually, but she needs to learn to actually canter on the left lead when I ask. The right lead was better and that was where she really found her motor. 

What was amazing to me was that it felt easier to ride her canter than it had before I started doing my millions of kegels. It was easier to sit up and not fetal position or go into two point. She really needs me sitting balanced and on her, not off her back at this point. 

It is hard to get a selfie with her whole head.

Ralph described it like a game. She likes playing the game and getting  the right answer. She was BIG MAD when she wasn't getting the right answer, but she also likes to win the Game against me, which is often her dropping her shoulder or ignoring my leg. At one point she was blasting through my inside leg down a long stretch in power canter and I was asking her to rate a bit and stay on the rail. She was aiming instead for a small vertical so I decided, "Okay mare, you want to aim for a jump? We're gonna jump." 

Ralph said afterward that it was like her eyes got real big. She was not expecting me to still assert that I had influence in what we were doing. The next time we cantered around that long side she was very respectful of my leg and where I was aiming. 😁 After that it was more like a partnership between the two of us. She had to get over her "game time" and really get down and focus. After drilling the left canter depart (again, her weak side), she started offering it as counter canter when I cued going right. So she was trying so hard to answer the question. Goober got lots of verbal praise and neck scritches. 

We did a lot of breaks to jump in between the canter and it really felt like I was getting my sea legs back, so to speak. As a kid I was fearless. I'd drop my stirrups, knot my reins and just point Clyde at a set of gymnastics and go through hands free. It felt so amazing to do. My body knew how to fold and I could feel the line. I felt that again tonight. It's getting easier to trust that Gwyn can jump with me and thus I can release and keep my eyes up. 

I won one of the saddle covers in a giveaway from Bel Joeor and this has to be my favorite embroidery design, seriously y'all

Anyway, a lot of what I talked about body wise and biomechanically is stuff that I've been discussing and working on with my physical therapist. And I'm just buzzing with happiness about how well it's tied together tonight. And how much I can feel my body being more capable. It's such a nice change from where I was. 

Anyway, it's been a wild mental swing for me this week. I'm just happy to have some good brain chemicals, rather than awful brain chemicals like yesterday. Huge difference. Enough that I had energy and motivation to actually BLOG ABOUT IT. Whaaaaaaat. 

What wins have you had lately? Let's celebrate the wins!

French Creek Pony Club Derby

 Saturday was the FCPC Derby held at Polestar Farm, where I had been clinicing with Marc Grandia. I'm still not totally confident in Gwyn's stamina over Beginner Novice fences so I signed up for Grasshopper and Hopeful. Upon looking back, I wish I had done Hopeful with Beginner Novice schooling round because honestly, Grasshopper was easy mode. But despite hindsight, my choices in levels led to a very confident horse and rider for the day, so in that sense, I definitely chose well. 

Additionally, all photos are by Cortney Drake Photography and are used with purchase and permission. I ended up getting the pre-show package and it was a steal compared to after show prices. I'm glad I took the chance.

This derby is apparently a big fundraiser for the French Creek Pony Club. Their riders went first, early in the day and then volunteered for the rest of it, and it was a hot one! The way the day was set up for us non-PC riders meant that I rode dressage - cross country - dressage - cross country.   This ended up being fairly ideal for Gwyn  because we could kind of warm up the canter in a giant field over tiny fences, instead of getting super tense in a dressage warm up field. 

Trailer parking was on the whole other side of the property from where competition was, which was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because Gwyn couldn't easily tracking beacon herself to the trailer but a curse because I had NO sense of time through the day and how long it might take me to traverse from trailer to ride time. This was compounded by the show almost immediately running behind.  I also need to figure out how to see the current time when I'm tracking my ride on my watch. 

Covid rules dictated that we could arrive no more than 90 minutes before our first scheduled ride time. We also had to make our own rider numbers and digitally pre-sign Covid releases and liability releases.  There was a decent contingent from the barn attending both as "support/spectator" and as competitors. 

Grasshopper:
Dressage was USDF Intro A, which I had done the week before at HHSC.  Our score for this test was abysmally worse than at  HHSC by a few percentage points. We got a 44% (so a 56% compared to the 60% of the previous week). Gwyn was also significantly less relaxed than last week. The show atmosphere was incredibly different and much busier, plus we were doing dressage in full view of the cross country course that she now considers herself very familiar with (after two clinics, lol).  

At least I de-wrinkled my show coat. And promptly only wore it for one thing because it got too dang hot.

Still upside down and bracing. I also could use some biomechanical changes

I'm not sure what I could have done better in that moment. Gwyn isn't consistently in contact, which is as much my consistency as hers. She doesn't have a lot of show miles for this to be old hat. 

Cross country was held in an enclosed pasture. It was mostly tiny logs resting on the ground with a coop and a small square oxer at the end. The competitors mostly were either tiny kids on equally tiny ponies or nervous adults on very green horses. 

Seahawks Crossrail nicely placed facing toward the warmup ring and larger x-country field

Looping around on a decline to a small vertical at cavaletti height

Uphill to a coop that gave a lot of ponies trouble

Looping back around to the yellow/green cross rail

Straight on to the ground pole log nicely framed by jump blocks

Wide left turn to the Harry Potter brush cross rail with a bonus Gwyn being held by a friend while I walked the course

Looping back left to a VERY hidden log pole on a downhill slope

Finishing with a tiny square oxer that also gave the ponies some trouble

While I feel bad that we just demolished this course compared to the other adult amateurs, Gwyn did give me some left turn trouble as we turned from 3 to 4 as we'd have to turn away from the other competitors waiting for their turn in the ring (in the only shade at the time). But I remembered what Marc told me and trusted in the fence and made her turn left.  We had enough room to manage it and it really cemented the control for me and after that she gave me no trouble with the steering the rest of the day. So being enclosed and treating grasshopper like a warmup round ended up being good for us. Gwyn was confident coming into every fence and some she just took in a giant trot or canter stride. I really liked all the changes of direction they managed to fit into this tiny course AND all the little bits of natural hilliness. 

Mare has game face

Gwyn says "Easy peasy!"

No hesitation at the tiny coop

And two photographers in the field from different vantage points. I'm looking left and right after this is when we have a disagreement about turning

But we made it to the yellow/green cross rail

Over the tiny log and on to Harry Potter Brush

I just love this sequence:

And all done! We tied for third in our division, but lost the tie in the collective marks. Apparently I get a ribbon, I just didn't bother waiting around to pick it up, or to schlep back on foot to grab it. 

Hopeful:

Dressage - USEA Beginner Novice A

I got Gwyn cantering in the dressage warm up field and she was listening pretty well. Rather than wear her out, once I had a solid canter both directions I just worked on bending and walking. It was hot and we were out in the sun (I stupidly forgot to wear sunscreen) 

I did not want a repeat of my leaving the arena during the canter of last week, so I intentionally sacrificed my geometry of my circle. Also, screw the canter lead. At this point I can't be picky. I just have to work with what she can give me. Dressage lessons are for fixing that later. So my BN A test was rougher than rough and we ended up with a 49.7%.  Oops. Again, things to work on.

It was hard to estimate timing so I ended up riding in my jump tack, just with the running attachment removed.

I'mma use my neck to do wut I want

This is my "We WILL be making a circle to the right, Gwyn" face

Cross Country

I didn't jump much in warmup. There was a natural fence for warmup that we popped over a couple times, but I didn't want her getting too hot and she was feeling really good coming into the few jumps I did. I definitely took a "less is more" approach to warm up here. 

This was FUN. Most everything was a larger, colored log, all of which, with one exception, I'd schooled with Marc Grandia. I didn't walk this course because it was just an out and back loop and from each fence you could see the next one. After watching a couple riders on the course, I just winged it. 

Gwyn and I took off away from the group of competitors and she was just so eager to be out in that giant field of jumps. She was really good with steering and I did have her in the baucher lozenge that I normally use for endurance. 

Gwyn was forward and willing to gallop and rate back down between fences. Since I don't trust her straightness in the canter on approach to jumps, I would balance back down to a trot since none of what we did needed more than that.

We jumped this with Marc fully filled with brush. The cut out made it nice and inviting for straightness.

There was an upbank on course that we hadn't schooled before, but I still have Marc's voice running through my head in how to approach and how to stay balanced and we nailed that too. Gwyn was definitely looking at the bigger bank complex and I needed to redirect her. I love that she wasn't scared off by the bigger stuff. She was eager.

Final jump, coming home. E pointed out you can tell that I'm saying "gooood" in Good Girl.  There was a lot of Good Girl and Good Mare on this course. 

War horse

We walked a bit to cool out, but I didn't hang for long, only enough to watch a friend do her course and face immediate regret I didn't sign up for Beginner Novice. Then it was back to the trailer where Gwyn sucked down a ton of water and I started packing up and cooling out myself. 

Very hot and slightly sunburned

A not tired, FIT mare, who was just hot, and fucking jigged all the way back to the trailer.

All in all, it was a good day for the two of us. There is another Derby I think on my Birthday weekend in October that I will be at least doing a schooling round for Beginner Novice. And I have a dressage lesson already scheduled that may have already happened by the time this is posted.